Many parents help support adult children

Many parents help support adult children - More than half of parents in the United States are helping, or have helped, support their adult children who have been hit by high unemployment and stagnant wages, according to a new survey.

The online poll showed that current economic conditions are discouraging young adults from leaving home and forcing those who have already gone, so-called boomerang kids, to return.

"Parents are continuing their (financial) involvement longer than we expected," said Ted Beck, the president and CEO of National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE), a nonprofit group that educates Americans about personal finance.

About 60 percent of parents questioned in the survey commissioned by NEFE and Forbes.com, said they are helping their adult children who are no longer in school financially. Half are providing housing and nearly half are helping with living expenses.

For an increasingly number of adult children, the mood is bleak. Two-thirds of adult children, aged 18 to 39, who are not in school said they faced tougher financial pressures than previous generations, according to the poll of 700 adult children and 400 parents with grown children.

And nearly one-third of parents agreed that they had it easier to find their financial feet, than their children do.

Parents are helping their children out of genuine concern, and because they do not want to see them struggle.

"The general sentiment is that financial pressures are higher for this generation," said Beck.

But he added that parents who make sacrifices to help their adult children should be cautious about their own finances.

"If you are taking on extra debt or delaying retirement to help your adult child, you could be making a mistake and putting your own financial future in jeopardy," Beck warned.

Boomerang children can also pose other problems for their parents.

Thirty percent of parents said they had given up privacy since their adult children moved back home, while more than a quarter have taken on added debt, and seven percent have delayed retirement.

But the poll also showed that 42 percent of adult children living at home are helping with the cooking and cleaning and many contribute to the cost of groceries, utilities, rent or mortgage ( Reuters Life! )

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US ranks 17 as clean tech producer, China is No. 2

US ranks 17 as clean tech producer, China is No. 2 – Denmark earns the biggest share of its national revenue from producing windmills and other clean technologies, the United States is rapidly expanding its clean-tech sector, but no country can match China's pace of growth, according to a new report obtained by The Associated Press.

China's production of green technologies has grown by a remarkable 77 per cent a year, according to the report, which was commissioned by the World Wildlife Fund for Nature and which will be unveiled on Monday at an industry conference in Amsterdam.

"The Chinese have made, on the political level, a conscious decision to capture this market and to develop this market aggressively," said Donald Pols, an economist with the WWF.

Denmark, a longtime leader in wind energy, derives 3.1 percent of its gross domestic product from renewable energy technology and energy efficiency, or about euro6.5 billion ($9.4 billion), the report said.

China is the largest producer in money terms, earning more than euro44 billion ($64 billion), or 1.4 percent of its gross domestic product.

The U.S. ranks 17 in the production of clean technologies with 0.3 percent of GDP, or euro31.5 billion ($45 billion), but those industries have been expanding at a rate of 28 percent per year since 2008.

"The U.S. is growing substantially, so it seems the policy of (President Barack) Obama is working," Pols said. But the U.S. cannot compare with China, he said.

"When you speak to the Chinese, climate change is not an ideological issue. It's just a fact of life. While we debate climate change and the transition to a low carbon economy, the debate is passed in China," Pols said. "For them it's implementation. It's a growth sector, and they want to capture this sector."

The report was prepared by Roland Berger Strategy Consultants, a global firm based in Germany. It gathered data on 38 countries from energy associations, bank and brokerage reports, investor presentations, the International Energy Agency and a score of other sources. It measured the earnings from producing renewables like biofuels, wind turbines and thermal equipment, and energy efficiency technology such as low-energy lighting and insulation.

"Clean technologies are really growing fast, but China is responsible for the majority of that growth," said Ward van den Berg, who compiled and analyzed the data for the consultancy firm.

Until recently, Chinese massive production of solar cells was aimed at the export market, but they are now making solar systems for the home market, as they have been doing for several years in wind energy, Van den Berg said.

Following Denmark and China, other countries in the top five clean-tech producers, in terms of percentage of GDP, are Germany, Brazil and Lithuania, the report said. ( Associated Press )

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Daddy Got Me My Internship

Daddy Got Me My Internship - Clegg admits parental job boost amid crackdown on unpaid internships - Deputy prime minister owns up to securing his first internship through his father's influence in a Finnish bank - Nick Clegg was forced to admit it was "wrong" that his own career had been boosted by parental connections when he was starting out, getting him time at a bank and his first job in politics.

The revelation that the deputy prime minister had been helped by his father's influence cast a shadow over the government's announcement of a drive to end unpaid internships.

As the government put more accessible internships in desirable professions at the centre of a drive to give poorer children better opportunities, it also emerged that eight coalition MPs were continuing the practice of employing unpaid interns. An anonymous intern also said he had worked for Nick Clegg in opposition.

Nick Clegg gives a career advice talk to pupils at the Globe Academy in Southwark. Photograph: Oli Scarff/Getty Images

A new national internship scheme is intended to get young people into professions otherwise closed to all but those who know people in the field or "your father's friends", in Nick Clegg's words.

Clegg also wants to encourage people to use national minimum wage legislation to shop employers who are taking advantage of free and eager young workers. The government pointed to an announcement by the Tory chairman, Lady Warsi, that they were leading by example in closing down the civil service to all informally arranged slots of work experience from 2012.

In the morning when launching the policy, the deputy prime minister was asked by Labour MP John Spellar in the Commons whether he could confirm he had secured his first internship through his father's influence in a Finnish bank.

Clegg told the house: "Yes, I can. As a teenager, yes, I did receive an internship, as, I suspect, did many people around the chamber.

"Good for you if you did not. All of us should be honest and acknowledge that the way that internships have been administered in the private sector, the public sector, political parties and – I discovered when we came into government – in Whitehall as well, under 13 years of Labour, left a lot to be desired.

"I was a recipient of that, as, I suspect, many others here were as well. That is what we need to change if we want to secure greater social mobility in the future."

Afterwards, at the press conference to launch the document, Clegg was asked whether it was true his father had secured him a job at the European commission through a conversation with his neighbour, former foreign secretary Lord Carrington.

Clegg said: "The whole system was wrong. I'm not the slightest bit ashamed of saying that we all inhabited a system which was wrong."

Included as part of the policies is a "business compact" being signed with large companies – including the Guardian – that they seek to provide fairer access to their workplaces.

Clegg asked employers to pay at least the appropriate national minimum wage or payment of reasonable out-of-pocket expenses. They should encourage schools and blind applications in the hope the best qualified will be accepted.

The government also launched its child poverty strategy, putting on a statutory footing a new child poverty and social mobility commission which will enshrine in law a body to monitor the progress made by this government and future ones towards eliminating child poverty by 2020. Seven indicators at different stages of the life cycle will be monitored by different Whitehall departments to see if they help or hinder social mobility.

Asked about his own party's policy on internships, Clegg said he had just set out a new set of rules. Lib Dem interns will now receive travel expenses and up to £5 for lunch, though many questioned whether that was feasible.

Eight coalition MPs and three constituency parties were advertising for unpaid interns as Clegg announced the policy.

The website working4anMP currently lists unpaid intern vacancies with the Conservative MPs Aidan Burley, David Davis, David Amess, Mark Menzies and Dominic Raab, and the West Thurrock constituency Conservative party. Lib Dem MPs advertising for an unpaid intern included David Ward and John Leech, along with the Bristol and Lewes constituency Lib Dem parties.

A former unpaid intern for Nick Clegg, Jonny Medland from Oxford told the group Intern Aware he had "worked on all sorts of projects – drafting articles to appear in the local and national press, researching policy announcements from the then Labour government and making notes for speeches in the Commons. It definitely wasn't 'work experience' but was exactly the sort of work which the coalition is now, rightly, insisting you should be paid for".

A survey conducted this year by the parliamentary branch of Unite revealed that half of MPs from the main parties are offering work experience without paying expenses. ( guardian.co.uk )

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FIFA Intervenes in Indonesia FA Crisis

FIFA Intervenes in Indonesia FA Crisis - FIFA intervened directly in Indonesia’s football crisis on Monday, announcing it was appointing a committee to take over from the local federation on an interim basis.

FIFA said in a statement that the so-called normalisation committee would organise elections for the Football Association of Indonesia (PSSI) leadership by the end of next month, stop a rebel league and run the association on a day-to-day basis.

Indonesian soccer fans shouts slogans and show a poster of Football Association (PSSI) chief Nurdin Halid as a wanted person, during a rally in front of PSSI headquarter in Jakarta on February 23, 2011. Hundreds of soccer fans protested against corruption in the national league and demanded the resignation of the disgraced PSSI chief.

The decision followed chaotic scenes 10 days ago when an assembly to organise the first PSSI elections in four years was called off after opponents of chairman Nurdin Halid stormed in claiming they had been stripped of voting rights. Halid was jailed in 2007 for misusing funds but continued to run the PSSI from his cell.

“The FIFA emergency committee came...to the conclusion that the PSSI leadership had lost all credibility within Indonesia and was not in a position any more to lead the process to solve the current crisis,” said FIFA in a statement.

FIFA added that the PSSI’s lack of control was “proven by the failure to gain control of the breakaway league, set up without the involvement of PSSI, or by the fact it could not organise a congress whose sole goals were to adopt an electoral code and elect an electoral commission.

The normalisation committee would consist of Indonesian football personalities who would not be able to run in the PSSI positions and would act as an electoral commission, said FIFA.

“The mission of the normalisation committee is to organise elections based on the FIFA electoral code and PSSI statutes before May 21, to bring the run-away league under PSSI control.....(and) to run the day-to-day activities of PSSI in a spirit of reconciliation for the good of the Indonesian football,” it said.

Halid is in his second term as PSSI president but has faced growing criticism at the poor performances of Indonesian teams, especially the senior national side which is 129th in the world rankings. The three-month old breakaway league has attracted teams from the PSSI-supported Indonesia Super League (ISL), a host of southeast Asian players and former England international Lee Hendrie.

Despite a huge soccer-mad population, Indonesia’s only World Cup appearance was in pre-independence days in 1938 as the Dutch East Indies and is not recognised by the PSSI. Indonesia have only played four times at the Asian Cup, going out at the first hurdle every time, and its clubs have never reached an Asian Champions League final. ( reuters )

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Do you give into that cute face?

Do you give into that cute face? - Picture this. You are fuming and screaming at the top of your lungs and while doing so, you happen to spare a glance at your partner, apparently the subject of your ire, is busy making funny faces. Such an indifferent though cute and funny gesture might add fuel to the fire thereby, making your blood boil even more in the beginning.

But a few moments later, you will give into that cute face that would cool you down and bring a smile on your face. And the anger will vanish and you will be back to normal. This is big enough a lesson to teach you that anger is not contructive but destructive and might simply worsen the situation. Getting angry irrespective of the gravity of the issue is just not worth it. Come to think of it, why would you fight with someone who means the world to you? And it is in his arms that you feel relaxed and secure and he is the one who protects you from the bad world outside. Would you fight and bring the roof down with the one who is your soul mate and has been your saviour all the time?

Businessman Sameer Sinha, who hates ugly spats, mood swings and foul temper seconds this and says, "When my wife gets angry, I do all the possible things to calm her down. I too get angry, but it does not last for long. I try to bring a smile on her face by just being a good and helping husband. I do everything she would want me to do like helping her with the daily chores. Being the woman of the house, she expects it to be clean and tidy and I try to do my bit by keeping my things at their assigned places thereby lifting a little burden off her shoulders. And voila, she adores this good boy avatar of mine. This does the trick and calms her instantly and that's how I nip the issue right in its bud even before it can escalate into an ugly spat."

Anger, frustration and irritation evaporate into thin air, when you sincerely thrive to bring the relationship back to normalcy. After all, why drag fights when you see no reasonable end to it? Kavita Sharma, an IT professional says, "My husband and I fight for frivolous reasons. We must have fought for the same reason over a 100 times before and derived that there is no solution to it. So now when he gets angry, I pick up his favourite instrument and start playing it and sing a classic Bollywood number. It instantly lightens the whole mood and brings happy times back!"

When you have to cajole your partner, one thing that works the best is 'stupidity'. Yes, it may sound weird, but stupidity can do things that sanity cannot. This very much explains the fact that children always get away scot free with all their mistakes. Ask freelance photographer Manavi Bhatia, and she explains, "My husband makes weird faces whenever he is angry. So, what I do is, I show him a mirror and start imitating his expressions. That usually works. More so, because it's a very stupid gesture and also because it's actually funny." But Arpit Battacharya, a marketing professional, warns that stupidity can sometimes have the opposite effect too. He says, "When my wife gets angry I joked and laughed, thinking it would make her smile too. But, unfortunately, it simply got her wilder. It's not always that you can fool around. Sometimes, you need to understand the reason behind the other person's anger and act accordingly."

All's well that ends well. And how to end it well is something, you need to work on. If going crazy and laughing out loud is the solution, then go for it or else we advise you to watch the storm and thunder pass quietly!

Says psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria, "I think it solely depends on the mood of your spouse. If the matter is light and your partner is angry, you can dissolve the fight by resorting to such measures. But such an attempt is a big no-no if your husband is trying to have a serious discussion which can lead to an argument. If at all you try to make those funny faces during the serious conversation, you might earn disrespect from him and it might only escalate the argument. It will further add to his anger. However, for petty squabbles, humour is the best means to dissolve the tension. But in cases where the situation is serious, one must start with a healthy communication followed by humour to dissolve the issues." ( indiatimes.com )

READ MORE - Do you give into that cute face?

Is email dead? Under 25s abandoning 'cumbersome' mode of communication for social networking sites

Is email dead? Under 25s abandoning 'cumbersome' mode of communication for social networking sites - Many scoffed when Mark Zuckerberg declared the death of email last month. Now new figures reveal that the Facebook founder may be right.

Just like cassettes, videos and faxes, the use of email appears to be in an irreversible decline.

According to statistics from market researchers comScore, millions of Britons led by the under-25s are abandoning the cumbersome tool for social networking sites.

Email is so 20th century: Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan got together via email in the 1998 film 'You've Got Mail.' Now they would likely use Twitter

The three most popular services in the UK - Yahoo! Mail, Gmail and Hotmail, have all seen a consistent fall in the number of people visiting their sites.

Email providers have lost around 1.2million users since numbers peaked in October 2009, although this only covers personal accounts, according to the figures obtained by The Times.

Younger consumers prefer the faster pace of instant messaging, which is a far more flexible way of conversing online. Pictures are easy to share through integrated galleries.

Websites such as Facebook also let users know if their friends are also online and so will know if their missive has been received.

This helps explain why Facebook has attracted 1.3million more members since January while there are 320,000 more people on Twitter.

The future? Online romances may blossom on the platform of Twitter

Writing for PC Magazine, columnist John Dvorak said email has become useless to many.

'There is no real way of confirming receipt of an email other than the annoying receipt request,' he said.

'People also change their email addresses far too often and few have a permanent email address where people can always contact them,' he said.

'Plus a lot of people end up with poorly administered email systems that results in boxes filled with so much spam the user abandons the entire address.'

Email has been downgraded by many to humdrum activities such as for paying bills or receiving newsletters.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg highlighted this electronic revolution in November when he hailed the death of email as we know it.

The 26-year-old said emails would go the way of the letter because it was too slow and too formal.

In its place he showcased Facebook’s own version which integrates all web and text-based communications.

Mr Zuckerberg revealed that, as rumoured, the 500million people signed up to Facebook will have access to a ‘Facebook.com’ email address.

However, he said: 'We don’t think that a modern messaging system is going to be email.'

Instead the new system will then allow people to simplify their communications regardless of how they choose to do it.

Texts, email or instant messages will all come into one ‘feed’ and users can respond in any way they want.

One person could text a friend, for example, who will see the message come up on their Facebook page instantly and respond via an instant message or email.

'We want people to be able to communicate in whatever way they choose: email, text or Facebook message,' Mr Zuckerberg said.

It seems likely email will be the least popular option. ( dailymail.co.uk )

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Professor Suspended After Joke About Killing Students on Facebook More Workers Getting Fired Over Social Media Rants

Professor Suspended After Joke About Killing Students on Facebook. More Workers Getting Fired Over Social Media Rants. Gloria Gadsden, a sociology professor at East Stroudsburg University in Pennsylvania, says she was suspended last week after updating her Facebook status with complaints about work that alluded to violence.

In January, she wrote: "Does anyone know where I can find a very discrete hitman? Yes, it's been that kind of day…" Then in February: "had a good day today. DIDN'T want to kill even one student. :-). Now Friday was a different story."

Workers have been getting in trouble often over their online vents on social networking sites like Facebook. Not only do employers want to control their online image as closely as they can, but they are also vulnerable, like anybody else, to hurt pride. Collapse
(ABC News Photo Illustration)

Gadsden says she posted the comments in jest, on a profile she thought could only be seen by friends and family. She says officials were notified of the posts by a student -- even though she says she had no students in her "friend" list.

Just a Bad Day

"I was just having a bad day, and I was venting to family and friends," says Gadsden, who says she didn't realize her comments could be read by the public after Facebook relaxed its privacy standards in December. "My friends and family knew I was being facetious. They knew I wasn't targeting anyone."

Nevertheless, university officials were unhappy about the allusions to violence in the posts, she says, and in a meeting with her even mentioned the recent shooting spree by a disgruntled biologist at the University Alabama-Huntsville.

"Given the climate of security concerns in academia, the university has an obligation to take all threats seriously and act accordingly," Marilyn Wells, ESU's interim provost and vice president for academic affairs told The Chronicle of Education last week. Wells and other university officials did not return calls from ABC News seeking comment.

Boss' Hurt Pride

Workers have been getting in trouble often over their online vents. Not only do employers want to control their online image as closely as they can, but they are also vulnerable, like anybody else, to hurt pride.

"When you badmouth your boss and the boss is hearing, whether you're doing it online or at the coffee maker, the boss isn't going to be happy," says Jonathan Ezor, assistant professor of Law and Technology at Touro Law Center in Huntington, N.Y. "The fact that it's online makes it more easily findable and have a broader potential impact."

Obscenities Draw Attention

The comments that provoke employers into action usually contain obscenities or exaggerations that could hurt relations with customers.

Workers have been getting in trouble often over their online vents on social networking sites like Facebook. Not only do employers want to control their online image as closely as they can, but they are also vulnerable, like anybody else, to hurt pride.

Workers have been getting in trouble often over their online vents on social networking sites like... Expand

Last year, for example, Dan Leone, a stadium worker for the Philadelphia Eagles, was fired after he reacted with an online obscenity to news that one of the Eagles' star players was leaving to join the Denver Broncos.

"Dan is [deleted] devastated about Dawkins signing with Denver. Dam Eagles R Retarted," was the comment that cost Leone his job.

Although he later apologized and tried to get his job back, his employer wouldn't budge.

''If you know your boss is online, or anyone close to your boss is online, don't be making comments that can be detrimental to your employment,'' Leone told The New York Times after the incident.

Virgin Workers Fired

In the U.K., Virgin Atlantic Airlines fired 13 cabin crew members after they made fun of passengers in their postings and quipped about defective engines.

The discount airline, owned by Sir Richard Branson, told The Guardian at the time that the postings were "totally inappropriate" and "brought the company into disrepute."

Social media mavens can even get in trouble before they've been hired. Remember the case of the Cisco fatty that went viral last year?

Cisco Fatty's Lost Opportunity

One Twitter user posted an update last year saying "Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work."

A Cisco employee responded, "Who is the hiring manager? I'm sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the Web."

Needless to say, the applicant did not end up working at Cisco.

Several Web sites, such as JobVent.com, have sprung up in recent years to make it easier for employees to vent their job frustrations online. There's even a website called IhateDell.net that allows employees (and customers) to air their complaints about the computer maker.

In some cases, online postings by disgruntled employees can seriously damage a company's bottom line. Just ask Domino's Pizza.

Gross Misconduct

Domino's sales dropped last year after an employee posed for five YouTube videos. In one, he stuffed cheese up his nose and put it into a sandwich. In another, he sneezed into a cheese steak sandwich.

Once the poser and the photographer -- also a Domino's employee -- were identified, they were fired and sued by Dominos.

In this case, the transgression seemed very clear. But employees often complain that their online posts are only used as excuses to fire them.

"It's not unusual for an employee to allege that the real reason for adverse employment action is discrimination and and that the employer's stated justification is a subterfuge," says Philip Gordon, a lawyer with Littler, Mendelson who defends employers in privacy disputes.

Gadsden, the professor from East Stroudsburg, says that university officials have been discriminating against her ever since she wrote an essay in The Chronicle of Higher Education saying universities don't do enough to retain minority faculty.

Ever since that essay ran, she says, some officials started making her life difficult.

"Their reaction (to the posts) was exaggerated," says Gadsden, noting that she was not giving a warning or a chance to correct her actions before she was suspended. "It was not for my essay they may have not responded in that way." ( abcnews )

READ MORE - Professor Suspended After Joke About Killing Students on Facebook More Workers Getting Fired Over Social Media Rants

That's what Facebookers are for

Atma Jaya University student Fanny has 1,003 Facebook friends – and knows the figure off the top of her head. While she admits most of them are probably only acquaintances, she still likes to collect them, as accumulating friends on Facebook is like a competition among young people to see who is most popular.

The computer generation: Three students look at Facebook on a laptop at a Jakarta university campus. Facebook is now the most-used website in Indonesia with 13.9 million active users. JP/Alexandra Hansen

Her friend Melati knows how many friends she has, and how many her boyfriend has to the exact number, “I have to know,” she laughs, “I have to keep an eye on my boyfriend.”

The students say they use the social networking site to make purchases, find information, learn about groups and publish information. They say it is an important tool to keep in touch with their old friends and reconnect with people from their youth who they wouldn’t be able to locate otherwise.

Another important aspect of Facebook is the “Facebook status update”. This offers a unique opportunity to get a message across to hundreds of people at a time, and many young people use this very public forum to display their innermost feelings.

But Facebook has its limits too. While youngsters say they can reconnect with old friends through Facebook, they also run the risk of losing their current social networks.

“I know some people who just spend their whole day browsing on Facebook, adding photos, commenting on people, which ruins their current social life,” Fanny says.

The students add it also has the ability to distract them from their studies if they don’t have adequate time management skills, and raises privacy issues.

Both girls say they have had their private pages hacked and experienced problems when accepting requests from complete strangers. No surprise there.

“I add people if I can recognize their face, or if we have mutual friends, but I don’t always know them. I’ve had problems where people I don’t know keep sending me messages and comments until I have to delete them or tell them to stop [sending message].”

Facebook has eclipsed Friendster as Indonesia’s social networking site of choice.

Will a newer, funkier social networking site make Facebook redundant?

“No way,” Fanny says. “There are too many Facebook users out there, and everyone already knows how to use it. It is too hard to get off Facebook.”

Facebook is now the most used website in Indonesia, beating search engines Google and Yahoo! with 13.9 million active users.

With the third-biggest Facebook membership in the world, after the US and the UK, Indonesia is becoming a nation obsessed with social networking.

There are over 300 million active monthly Facebook users around the world, with the number growing every second — there was a greater than 630 percent member growth rate in 2008.

Illustration by JP/Irma

Facebook is the second most popular site in the world (after Google) and approximately 30 percent of Internet users worldwide are also Facebook members.

The social networking site is now a household name. Even if you don’t have an account, you will know about it. The term “facebook” is now a commonly used verb: “I’ll facebook you the details,”
“I’m just facebooking him,” et cetera.

The social site created some controversy on its inception in Indonesia, with 700 Muslim imams drafting guidelines on its proper use, which excluded “flirting and gossiping”.

But since it has been given the all clear, Facebook has rapidly become the most popular site in the country. In fact, there are more active Facebook users in Indonesia than there are people in Hong Kong and Singapore.

Four percent of Facebook members worldwide are from Indonesia, so one must ask: What’s with this country’s obsession with social networking?

The university’s communications lecturer, Natalia Widiasari, says for many of the young people on Facebook, this kind of display is like therapy, an emotional release.

“They say things online they would not have the courage to say otherwise, this can be positive or negative,” Natalia says.

Natalia admits she has followed her student’s example and created a Facebook page.

“I haven’t had much time recently as I just gave birth to my baby, but yes, I used to be a Facebook regular,” she laughs.

The social networking site is important to the students mostly because it is a bit of fun, she says.

“For the kids, it is cool to be popular, to have lots of friends, to be known.”

The obsession starts with it taking up excess time, she says, and while she thinks it can be good for social confidence and networking, it can also be a distraction from other important tasks.

Social networking: A female employee looks at her Facebook in a Jakarta office. JP/J. Adiguna

“Often when I am teaching, the students are facing me, their eyes are on me, but their thumbs are ticking away like mad on their Blackberrys, talking on Facebook.

“This means their attention is only minimally focused on what they should be doing.”

They like to have access to Facebook all the time, she adds. “When they’re eating, when they’re reading, all day if they can.”

Natalia says that while Facebook has its drawbacks, it can be an important business tool.

“For business and marketing, this is the future. Advertising and pushing products on social networking sites like Facebook is a new kind of media. It’s a good way to spread the ‘buzzword’,” she says.

When asked if the site could go against the religious beliefs of students and the guidelines initiated by the imams, she says in her experience, the students didn’t use the site for “gossiping and flirting” as was thought by some members of the Muslim community.

“It is just a bit of fun for them,” she says, “nothing untoward.”

While to some, the site is a friend-collecting popularity contest, Natalia says young people without a Facebook do not run the risk of being socially inept, or “out of the loop”.

“I think kids stick to their own groups most of the time anyway, so it is not to the detriment of those who don’t have Facebook.

“If there is something very important going on, they tend to text message anyway.”

“It can be a very positive thing in a young person’s life,” she says.

“If they are not spending too much time absorbed in it, if they are using it as a supplement to their everyday social life and not as a replacement, then it is a good thing.”

The students say Facebook is now an intrinsic part of their lives, and they check and update it a few times a day.

When asked if they would ever delete their Facebook pages they instantly reply “No, never!”

“It has taken a long time to collect so many friends, I would have to find them all again!” Fanny says. ( thejakartapost.com )

READ MORE - That's what Facebookers are for

Hey, you! Stop smoking in my atmosphere!

Hey, you! Stop smoking in my atmosphere!. Smoke-Free PlanetThe disappearing boundaries of cigarette prohibition.

That's the message from New York City, where the mayor and health commissioner have just released a policy agenda called "Take Care New York 2012."* Page 10 of the document says the city's health department "will work with the city's Department of Parks and Recreation and other entities to expand smoke-free spaces to include city parks and public beaches." The city council speaker is very interested in the idea, but her help might not be necessary if the parks department can implement the ban as a regulation.

A no-smoking sign in China

According to the New York Post, cities and counties in Utah, Louisiana, and Maine have already taken this step. The New York Times points out that Los Angeles and Chicago have done the same, and the whole state of California is considering it.

Let's step back and recall how we got here. When tobacco fighters began to outlaw smoking in elevators, buses, restaurants, bars, and public buildings, their stated rationale was to protect nonsmokers trapped inside. Then the crusade moved on to apartment buildings, extending the same theory: You can't smoke in your apartment, because the smoke seeps under your door into hallways and other people's apartments.

Now this rationale has moved outdoors. Way outdoors. David Kessler, the former FDA commissioner who led the anti-smoking fight in the 1990s, says New York City is doing the right thing, because "the majority of the population today doesn't want to be breathing in tobacco smoke, whether indoors or outdoors."

That's true. I hate tobacco smoke. I don't want to breathe it anywhere. I don't want the tiniest particle of it to touch my lungs, even if my nose doesn't notice it.

But do I have the right to that standard of purity? If so, doesn't that justify a ban on smoking absolutely anywhere? Forget parks and beaches. If you smoke in your backyard, aren't you violating my airspace? In fact, aren't you violating my airspace by lighting your grill or driving your car down my street? How far does my right to clean air extend?

Studies have proved that secondhand smoke is harmful. But those studies aren't conducted in wide-open spaces. They can't cover the whole atmosphere. They're conducted in enclosed spaces. That's why they justify smoking bans in elevators and restaurants, not in acres and acres of parkland.

New York's health commissioner, Thomas Farley, suggests that parks are defined spaces. Here's his argument, as quoted by the Post:

"We don't think children, parents, when they're standing at soccer games, should have to be breathing in smoke from the person next to them," Farley said after unveiling the city's 10-point plan alongside Mayor Bloomberg. "We don't think our children should have to be watching someone smoke."

Whoa, there. First of all, you don't have to ban smoking on every square inch of park land in order to protect nonsmokers from "the person next to them." You can chalk off spaces where smoking is prohibited. Believe me, I coach kids' soccer games. Last week, some guys who work for the county league showed up to paint new lines on our practice field. If you can paint boundaries for play, you can paint boundaries for smoking. Want to keep smokers 100 yards away from where kids are playing? Draw a line.

But check out Farley's second argument: Kids shouldn't "have to be watching someone smoke." We're no longer talking about breathing even a particle of smoke. We're talking about banning bad habits to prevent cultural contamination.

In that case, can we please ban public lotteries? Because I don't like my kids having to watch people gamble, particularly under the auspices of the state. Gambling is addictive and destructive. I want the tickets out of convenience stores and the results off television.

Why is a huge outdoor smoking ban justified even in the absence of substantiating medical evidence? Because, as one anti-smoking leader tells the Times, "There is no redeeming value in smoking at beaches or parks." That's the bottom line: Any basis for a ban, no matter how slight, is now sufficient, because the value of smoking is zero.

Once we agree on that, the movement to ban smoking, having conquered the outdoors, can move back indoors, this time without any reference to other people's health. Because the value of smoking is zero in your bathroom, too. ( slate.com )

READ MORE - Hey, you! Stop smoking in my atmosphere!

Six Love Talks That Bring You Closer

Six Love Talks That Bring You Closer. Maya and Jack had ten years together, but they didn't have these soul-baring conversations until the last days of his life. Take a moment to read their story, and then be inspired by them to have these honest talks with the person you love, now.

Maya and Jack didn't have these soul-baring conversations until the last days of his life. Start them now, she says, with someone you love.

At first it sounds like a movie cliché: Jack and I met at a wedding where I caught the bouquet. I'd noticed him the minute he walked in, so when he asked me to dance, I was giddy. After one song, I felt like I'd known him my whole life.

But on our second date, Jack pulled some pills out of a vial on his key chain and said that he had a liver disease. At 15 he had been told he'd live a year, but at 27, after lots of medicine and procedures, he was healthy, playing racquetball, mountain climbing … and having dinner with me. I thought I could handle it. I was just 19 and didn't grasp how serious his condition was. I did know pretty fast, though, that we were serious. As we dated and got close, I could imagine being with him forever.

Eventually the liver infections came back, and within five years we got news from his doctors: Jack would need a transplant to live — and, said Jack, to get married. He didn't want to propose with a bad liver. He couldn't bear leaving me behind.

Finally, on July 2, 2005, Jack had his transplant. But the surgery didn't have the happy outcome we'd hoped for. The doctors found gallbladder cancer. Still, seven months later, at sunrise on a beach near the hospital, Jack got down on one knee and proposed. He was so bloated from chemo-induced kidney failure that I had to help him get back up. But I had no doubts. However long I could, I wanted to be his wife. A few weeks later, after a session of dialysis (to celebrate, the clinic staff sang the wedding march: "Dah dum dah dum …"), we eloped.

Our hope for a full future lasted not quite three years. Then things went bad. Every medical complication you could get, Jack got. Finally, together we made the decision to stop chemo and begin hospice care at home in August 2008. One night in his last couple of weeks, I said to Jack, "What do you want to talk about? What do you want to say to me?" That's when our amazing nightly talks started. We shared it all, things we'd never brought up in our 10 years together. Jack died on September 21, 2008, but I can say I have no regrets. Well, that's not entirely true. I wish we'd talked about all these things sooner. So I beg of you, talk about the tough subjects. In honor of my Jack, when you're with someone you love, ask each other these questions:

1. What did you really think when you first met me?

After we danced at that wedding, we were walking in an alley by the restaurant, and Jack said, "Oh, look — a shooting star!" We stopped and gazed at it silently. All those years later, Jack said, "I never told you what I wished for. What I wished was, 'I wish she were mine'." He'd never told me that. Life's too short — why not say what's in your heart?

2. Do you belive in God?

We'd never really talked about religion. Jack's parents are Jewish and Catholic, but he wasn't raised as either. I'm Catholic but didn't want to push that on him. In our last weeks together, we asked each other: Where am I going? What is my life about? What about my soul? At Jack's request, a priest even came to do a blessing and, eventually, last rites. I think it was a real comfort for him.

Just as Jack found faith, I now believe that energy is all around us. While Jack was sick, for instance, we would talk by walkie-talkie when he was in bed and I was in the kitchen. He died at 10:00 A.M. on a Sunday, and from noon on, that walkie-talkie made static noises, like it did when he would talk to me. I still get chills. I know it sounds a little crazy, but I absolutely think Jack was letting me know he was there.

3. What little things do you love about each other?

In his last weeks, Jack kept a journal. He wrote, "When we played Rock Band, I loved how something so simple could make you so happy." I had no idea! My "little thing" was a baby photo I'd seen of Jack in his playpen, laughing. Whenever he'd laugh a really deep belly laugh, he looked just like that. It warmed my heart, and I told him so. Let each other in on the secret moments you cherish.

4. What was missing whe you were growing up?

We'd talked about our families before, of course, but in the end, we spoke a lot about what we didn't get growing up, and what we hoped we had provided each other. Jack, for example, wished he'd gotten more spoken "I love yous," so I gave that to him. Through the years, my mother and I faced economic struggles, so Jack did everything he could to make me feel safe financially.

5. What would you change about each other?

Jack knew that I'd always had a type-A personality, so he had to teach me it's OK to relax and enjoy life. Over the years, he got me to try skiing, kayaking, even snorkeling in Hawaii! But in those last two weeks, I think Jack worried that, without him, I wouldn't keep trying new things. Jack said to me, "I want you to be more adventurous. I want even more for you." As a tribute to him, I've parasailed and am about to go to Tuscany with a girlfriend. And a few months after Jack's death, I went to the Bahamas with another girlfriend — a trip he had actually planned for me, saying, "I think it's something you'll need to do."

6. What are your greatest fears?

I don't mean if you're scared of bugs or heights; I mean the real things. Jack, for instance, wasn't afraid of dying. He was more scared of what would happen to me afterward — that I'd fall into a bad relationship or drink too much or maybe even want to end my life. Most of all, though, he said, "I'm afraid of leaving you."

I then shared my biggest fear, which was having to move forward and have a life after him. I was very candid with Jack about this, about not wanting to marry again. My mom said, "You're too honest. You have to stop upsetting him." But I had to tell him the truth. And Jack gave me the greatest gift. He said, "I want you to meet someone and have the family we couldn't." And as painful as it was for me to hear those things, I'm now so glad he told me that. I know that when I'm ready, I'll just say, "Jack, send me someone to love."

On the first anniversary of Jack's death, I visited the cemetery rose garden where I'd scattered some of his ashes. I brought some flowers, sat down and talked to him for a while. The hardest part, still, is when I want to tell him something and he's not there. So please, for me — for Jack — if you feel it, say it. Don't ever waste that chance. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Six Love Talks That Bring You Closer

A Roundup of Your 2009 Sex Thoughts

A Roundup of Your 2009 Sex Thoughts. It’s the end of the year and I thought it would be a good time to review some of the feedback you’ve given me throughout the past year.

My Web site easily gets thousands of e-mails each year, involving everything from thank you's to criticisms to pleasant surprises to far-from-P.C. comments. Here’s just a taste of how readers like you are reacting to sex ...

You’re able to lend insight to great sex debates.

Upon hearing the two sides to a story, some of you are more than willing to weigh in. In reading that researchers are debating just how early humans can orgasm, for example, a couple of you wanted to help clarify the situation:

“I started having orgasms when I was somewhere between 4 and 5. I was scooting down off the bed the first time it happened. I remember it so clearly. So, I kept doing it. Eventually, as most of us do, I learned that it was bad and evil and all that. So, it didn't happen again until I was about 11 or 12.”

“I had my first orgasm when I was 4 years old. I had climbed up a flagpole, and in order to stay at the top -- to keep from sliding down -- I had to continually "pump" myself up with my legs. Imagine my surprise when I felt an orgasm. I went home and told my parents about it at the dinner table. I remember them quickly changing the subject, so I got the idea that I should keep it to myself.”

A number of you have really been unlucky in love.

Unfortunately, dating and mating have been rough on too many people. I get a ton of heartbreaking e-mails from people frustrated with their lack of a partner, a sexless union, a sexual disorder, and feelings of loneliness. ... Yet occasionally, one situation stands out from the rest:

“I just married this woman I met on the Internet. Unfortunately, she is not the woman I thought. She has a lot of misdemeanor convictions in Texas for theft by check, bankruptcy, multiple aliases, two Social Security numbers and two dates of birth. What advice can men get to protect themselves? Why can't law enforcement do more to get these people off the street? One police department told me there is no law for being crazy.”

My advice: look before you leap. If someone looks to good to be true, she (or he) probably is.

Others of you are quite pleased with your sex lives.

I get a number of e-mails from people who are simply bursting with joy that they have thriving sex lives and are still hot for their partners. The recent “Sex with a Celebrity? In Your Dreams” piece beckoned this one:

“I'm not into fantasizing about celebrities anymore. I'm into my mate, who basically IS my fantasy girl on all levels. I'm one of the lucky ones I guess.”

You can confirm what research tells us about sex and relationships.

It’s great to hear that so many of you feel affirmed -- and can confirm -- scientific evidence about a number of sex topics. Sometimes, though, it’s disheartening to hear how pervasive a problem is, like this one on how teens perceive certain sex acts in maintaining their virginity: “My young adult daughter tells me that many of her friends don't believe anal intercourse is sex ... and they believe they are still virgins when they get married.”

At times, you disagree with the research.

Supported by the data or not, if something is totally opposite one’s experiences, some take offense, like this man who couldn’t disagree more with John Gottman’s research data in the article “Want to Get Her Hot ’n’ Bothered."

“What planet are you from???? The more housework I do the more is expected! And there is no sex................... except once every 6-8 weeks.”

A couple of you are particular about words describing sex.

Every now and then, somebody will write in with an edit, correct or not, with the latter being the case for this reader in his rather insensitive response to an article on erectile dysfunction (ED):

“You recently used the abbreviation ED in a column I read. ED is the abbreviation for eating disorder(s), which happen to be much more of a health risk than a man who experiences erectile dysfunction. Please stop using this abbreviation. One is a serious medical condition, the other a mere inconvenience.”

A number of you are foot fetishists.

These are just a couple of the reactions of relief I received after writing a column on foot fetishes:

“I will confess to you that I am in fact, a foot fetishist! I have had this erotic infatuation with the female foot. I have mostly been 'in the closet' with my foot fetish, but am deciding now to be more open about it. I am attracted to the whole female body; however, I find a beautiful female foot, with shapely arches, very soft soles, pretty toes and slim ankles to be so entrancing.”

Another person said:

“I have always liked feet and in particular the smell of a woman’s foot drives me crazy. I love pretty painted toes and high arches.”

A few of you consider yourselves unofficial sex researchers, on issues like ...

Why women orgasm: “My own extensive research (done in the '70s) reinforces the conclusion that women that successfully achieve orgasm do so reliably with partners that care.”

Why women want sex: “My wife and I just started in to a swingers’ club lifestyle about five months ago. I can tell you a lot of women have sex because they love it.”

Some of you would rather know about the sexpert’s sex life than anything.

“Are you married?”

“What kind of practice do you use to determine what’s good or not?”

“Curious. How many partners have you had?”

( foxnews.com )

READ MORE - A Roundup of Your 2009 Sex Thoughts

Sex infections still rising, especially in teens

Sex infections still rising, especially in teens. Better screening cited for some increase in STDs, new CDC report finds. Sexually spread diseases continue to rise, with reported chlamydia cases setting yet another record in 2008, government health officials said Monday.

Last year there were 1.2 million new cases of chlamydia, a sometimes symptomless infection that can lead to infertility in women. It was the most ever reported, up from the old record of 1.1 million cases in 2007.

Better screening is the most likely reason, said Dr. John M. Douglas Jr. of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Syphilis, on the verge of being eliminated in the United States about 10 years ago, also has been increasing lately. About 13,500 cases of the most contagious form of the disease were reported in 2008, up from about 11,500 the year before.

Unlike chlamydia, health officials think syphilis cases actually are increasing. Syphilis rates are up among both gay men and heterosexuals, said Douglas, director of the CDC's Division of STD Prevention.

Syphilis can kill if untreated, but chlamydia is not life-threatening. Neither is gonorrhea, which seams to have plateaued in recent years. Gonorrhea cases dropped to about 337,000 cases in 2008, down from about 356,000 cases.

Girls, ages 15 through 19, had the largest reported number of chlamydia and gonorrhea cases, accounting for more than one in four of those cases. But they're often screened more than other people, since 1993 federal recommendations that emphasize testing for sexually active women age 25 and under.

Talking about sex

Squeamishness about talking about sex has helped keep common sexually transmitted infections far too common, researchers indicated.

The administration of President Barack Obama has signaled a willingness to move away from so-called abstinence-only sex education approaches promoted by his predecessor, George W. Bush, and conservative state and local governments.

Several studies have shown such approaches do not work well and that it is better to encourage abstinence while also offering children and teens information about how to protect themselves from diseases as well as pregnancy.

"We haven't been promoting the full battery of messages," Douglas said. "We have been sending people out with one seatbelt in the whole car."

The government estimates there are roughly 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted disease annually. Experts say the most common is HPV, human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts, cervical cancer and other cancers.

The government doesn't ask doctors to report every HPV case, but estimates the virus causes 6.2 million new cases each year. That is an old estimate, based on data from 2000, before a vaccine against some types of HPV came on the market in 2006.

The CDC's latest study on STDs found:

• Nearly 337,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported.
• Adolescent girls 15 to 19 years had the most chlamydia and gonorrhea cases of any age group at 409,531.
• Blacks, who represent 12 percent of the U.S. population, accounted for about 71 percent of reported gonorrhea cases and almost half of all chlamydia and syphilis cases in 2008.
• Black women 15 to 19 had the highest rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea.
• 13,500 syphilis cases were reported in 2008, an almost 18 percent increase from 2007.
• 63 percent of syphilis cases were among men who have sex with men.
• Syphilis rates among women increased 36 percent from 2007 to 2008.
• The government estimates 56,000 new cases of HIV each year.

There are 1.6 million new cases of genital herpes each year, but that is also an old estimate for a non-reportable disease.

Syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea can all be treated with antibiotics but untreated can cause pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, ectopic pregnancy and can infect newborns.

Overall, CDC estimates that 19 million new sexually transmitted infections occur each year, almost half among 15- to 24-year-olds. ( msn.com )

The Associated Press and Reuters contributed to this report

READ MORE - Sex infections still rising, especially in teens

Facebook and MySpace in content talks

Facebook and MySpace in content talks. The social network wars may be over as traditional rivals Facebook and MySpace reveal they're in talks about sharing content.

Facebook says it'd be happy to feature content from MySpace now that the two are moving in different directions, according to the UK's Telegraph.

Facebook and MySpace consider deal / AP

"Facebook is focussing on building the best technology which helps people share content, while at MySpace they are focussing on more a content-led strategy," Facebook's chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg told the newspaper.

"We would like to have their content, as we already do with many other sites, shared across our network because it is good for our users."

MySpace boss Owen Van Natta – who left Facebook in April to lead News Corp's social network - confirmed the talks.

“Facebook is about core communications with your friendship network, whereas MySpace is about congregating around popular content with people who share your interests," he said, adding that partnerships would be a large part of MySpace's future.

Ms Sandberg said Facebook could use its Connect feature for users to share MySpace content, although "nothing has been formally arranged yet".

Connect allows Facebook users to discuss and share content as they are viewing it on a partner website.

MySpace recently launched a new music service in Australia – the second country to get it after the US – adding a raft of music tracks from major labels and independent aggregators.

The audio tracks – which stream in full and can be playlisted on profiles - are linked to Apple's iTunes for purchase.

A spokesperson for MySpace Australia said they couldn't comment on the Facebook talks "at this stage". / news.com.au

READ MORE - Facebook and MySpace in content talks